


it's a little too late

by snowglobegays



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, Loneliness, Oops, Other, Suicide, a lot of italics, almost an imagine?, also im supposed to be finishing my winter fic, being left out, i dont mention a name, i got my sadness out and im still sad but how i feel is on paper, it can be any of the boys, not really - Freeform, this is what happens when im sad, this was written very quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 08:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2686424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowglobegays/pseuds/snowglobegays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he's so sad and so alone and it hurts and he cant stand it. he cant do this anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's a little too late

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote down my feelings and i changed it from she to he and the number of friends and this happened.

it just hurt. it just hurt and he wanted it to end. he felt worthless and lonely and unloved and it just hurt so fucking bad.  
  
the boys were his #1's. his best friends. he wasn't even their #5.  
  
he was a burden. he was annoying. he was the weight on their chests they couldn't shake off and he knew they'd be happier if he left.  
  
it was just.  
  
he didn't want to die.  
  
he wanted to live and be loved and be worth something like he had been once upon a time.  
  
it was too late for that. he was sick and tired of being used for free time when nobody else was available. he was sick of being nobody's first choice.  
  
people always say to not let others run your life. they tell you not to rely on others for you to be happy. but he needed the attention. he needed people to tell him they loved him. he thrived on attention and he was being completely shut out and ignored by his best friends.  
  
when he was around them, he was almost content. forget that they avoided, ignored, didn't include him. being around his favorite boys made him happy. but whenever he was with them, he wanted to be alone. he wanted to be alone so he could scream and cry and hurt.  
  
when he was alone, he hurt more. his thoughts buzzed through his mind in a whirlwind of sadness and confusion and hurt and loneliness. when he was alone, he reminded himself of how much of a failure he was and how everyone hated him.  
  
he couldn't always manage to cry.  
  
when his bags swelled, when his eyes got redder, when his cheeks hollowed, nobody asked him if he was okay. none of his best friends thought to stop and ask if he was feeling okay, if he needed a hug. none of them.  
  
it hurt him more than he could handle.  
  
he finally wanted to die.  
  
left out for months. feeling lonely and hated and worthless for months. hating himself for months.  
  
he couldn't do it. not anymore.  
  
so he died.  
  
a bottle of pills in the middle of the night. they didn't notice he was gone.  
  
when they did finally find him, dead, pale, and cold in his bed, they knew.  
  
four pairs of broad shoulders shook. eight fists clenched. their eyes spilled tears on the bed of their best friend. their best friend who they had let down. they boy that carried them all to success but never got there himself.  
  
they had killed him. they had ignored him and forgotten him. they hadn't even noticed he was missing until his mum called. "where's my boy?"  
  
"he's been up in his room. i'll fetch him and get him to call you back."  
  
four men walk into a room. their fifth half is dead under the sheets. it was their fault. they had killed him.  
  
"oh boys, we've really fucked up this time."  
  
"we fucking killed him."  
  
"i didn't notice he was gone."  
  
"i don't think ill ever forgive myself."  
  
~

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this with louis in mind because he's my muse who i abuse in fics (lmao read my stuff n youll see) but i didnt want to plug in eye or hair color or names so any boy could be the main character.


End file.
